crippledness- the state of being crippled.
Keep in mind that the word crippledness is not actually a word.
But for the sake of this blogpost, we will allow it.
I am healing always.
Oh, my shoulder?
The shoulder is still getting better.
No surgery... as of now.
I would say that it is about 70% strength, but only about 50% range.
Not bad for four months. Actually, it is pretty bad, but it can get better.
I am still crippled. Almost thankfully.
My crippledness reminds me that I am always in need of Jesus.
I am always in need of Jesus.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Oh God, Where Are You Now?
It was a good song when I first heard it. 'Oh God, where are you now?' was written and performed by a guy named Sufjan Stevens (pronounced soof-yahn). Now if your not familiar with his music, don't think your missing out on something that everyone knows. I am happy about the truth that I heard his music and liked it while his name will never be on the front of America's musical conscience. Anyways. As odd as his name is, his music can be even odder, but always purposeful. His name may not scream Christianity as a name like, well, someone named Christian, but his lyrics are just about always about God. Let me give you a tiny taste of the song.
"Oh God, hold me now
Oh Lord, hold me now
There's no other man who could raise the dead
So do what you can to anoint my head"
When we get bad news, or maybe we are the bad news, our initial or secondary(to avoid argument) response is to blame. We are so ready to point fingers at whoever is responsible for our dire circumstances. And does this impulsive reaction bring us peace, or closer to a solution or resolution, this blaming? What about when it gets so bad that we start to point our fingers at God? Does that help? I can imagine that from His perspective, we look lost. Imagine watching someone pulling on a door for hours when the sign says push, or seeing a pet owner get frustrated that their dog cant speak English, or imagine hearing someone yell at a clock for not being the afternoon yet. Ridiculous huh?
Have you ever been in one of those dire circumstances and wondered how it could possibly happen to you? Maybe you did everything in your power to keep from getting hurt. Maybe you studied as much as you could possibly study and still didn't pass. Maybe you prayed for days on end, and somehow felt ignored. Could it be that we as a people have forgotten? Forgotten may be the wrong word. Could it be that we as a people have taken ownership? That we have taken ownership of who God is and how He works? That we feel we have this whole existence thing figured out and that we have put God to work for us, and when it doesn't work out the way we want it to, we shake our fingers at Him?
Oh God, where are you now?
Oh Lord, say somehow
The devil is hard on my face again
The world is a hundred to one again
These lyrics sound like a cry out for help. GOD! WHERE ARE YOU NOW, WHEN I NEED YOU THE MOST? IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME AND I CAN'T WIN! OH GOD WHERE ARE YOU? Has that ever been your cry? Have you ever thought, even for a second, that the pain you are/were in is enough to believe that He isn't there? I know there are a lot of questions but there is purpose behind them. Have you ever felt far from God?
Rob Bell puts it well in his latest book titled Jesus wants to save christians:
"A God who sees and hears. A God who hears the cry. The Hebrew word used here for cry is sa'aq, and we find it all throughout the Bible. Sa'aq is the expression of pain, the ouch, the sound we utter when we are wounded.
But sa'aq is also a question, a question that arises out of the pain of the wound. Where is justice? Did anybody see that? Who will come to my rescue? Did anybody hear that? Or am I alone here?
Sa'aq is what Abel's blood does from the ground after he's killed by his brother.
The Israelites are oppressed, they're in misery, they're suffering- and when they cry out, God hears.
This is a God who always hears the cry.
This is central to who God is: God always hears the cry of the oppressed."
Do you know what God does when He hears the cry, when He hears the sa'aq? God becomes our freedom fighter. God becomes our liberator, our sole(or soul) representative. God has been in the freedom business since the start of life, so needless to say, He is pretty good at it.
Our God is one of deliverance.
Abel: Murdered by his brother Cain in anger. Genesis 4:
10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth."
Moses: God appointed leader of oppressed Hebrews. The oppressed nation was allowed to leave egypt after God willed it. Exodus 14:
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
God- W oppressors- L
Oh God, where are you now?
Our great oppressor isn't a single issue, a series of events, a handicap or inability. Our great oppressor isn't a government, a person, a deadline, or a boss. Our great oppressor isn't a generation, a family, or a label.
No, our great oppressor is way worse than that.
Our great oppressor is Sin, and we are all in bondage.
And God always hears the cries of the oppressed.
Our God is one of deliverance.
Sin has a firm hold on us and we can't shake it loose. No matter how hard we try, there is nothing that can be done about it. We are dying because of it, and there is nothing we can do on our own to stop it. Sounds pretty oppressed, huh? Well God hears the cry and gives us deliverance. This time, our deliverance comes not by way of force or anger or plague. It comes by love.
I read in my first bible years ago, out of the New Living Translation, that the Jews were waiting for a savior. They were doing everyday things with the hope that he may pop up and save them from slavery. In that day, the great oppressors of God's people were the roman occupiers of the Holy Land. This wasn't a new concept to the Jewish people. First Egypt, now the entire known world. So again the Jews were waiting. They felt oppressed. They felt like they were being held captive. But they had it all wrong.
The Jews were enslaved but not by the Romans. Not by the Egyptians either. They were enslaved by sin. See, Jesus saw that we were being oppressed and He heard our cries. But He, knowing that equality with God wasn't something we could grasp, made Himself less, and died a criminals death on a cross, thus freeing us from being slaves. Not freeing us from being slaves to Romans or Egyptians. He freed us from being slaves to sin.
The Jews missed it because they expected the Messiah to come down on clouds riding a horse with a sword in His hand. They focused on the wrong oppressor. The greatest oppressor of all time, is sin.
Wherever you are. Whatever you've done. God is available. He will free you.
"Oh God, hold me now
Oh Lord, hold me now
There's no other man who could raise the dead
So do what you can to anoint my head"
When we get bad news, or maybe we are the bad news, our initial or secondary(to avoid argument) response is to blame. We are so ready to point fingers at whoever is responsible for our dire circumstances. And does this impulsive reaction bring us peace, or closer to a solution or resolution, this blaming? What about when it gets so bad that we start to point our fingers at God? Does that help? I can imagine that from His perspective, we look lost. Imagine watching someone pulling on a door for hours when the sign says push, or seeing a pet owner get frustrated that their dog cant speak English, or imagine hearing someone yell at a clock for not being the afternoon yet. Ridiculous huh?
Have you ever been in one of those dire circumstances and wondered how it could possibly happen to you? Maybe you did everything in your power to keep from getting hurt. Maybe you studied as much as you could possibly study and still didn't pass. Maybe you prayed for days on end, and somehow felt ignored. Could it be that we as a people have forgotten? Forgotten may be the wrong word. Could it be that we as a people have taken ownership? That we have taken ownership of who God is and how He works? That we feel we have this whole existence thing figured out and that we have put God to work for us, and when it doesn't work out the way we want it to, we shake our fingers at Him?
Oh God, where are you now?
Oh Lord, say somehow
The devil is hard on my face again
The world is a hundred to one again
These lyrics sound like a cry out for help. GOD! WHERE ARE YOU NOW, WHEN I NEED YOU THE MOST? IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME AND I CAN'T WIN! OH GOD WHERE ARE YOU? Has that ever been your cry? Have you ever thought, even for a second, that the pain you are/were in is enough to believe that He isn't there? I know there are a lot of questions but there is purpose behind them. Have you ever felt far from God?
Rob Bell puts it well in his latest book titled Jesus wants to save christians:
"A God who sees and hears. A God who hears the cry. The Hebrew word used here for cry is sa'aq, and we find it all throughout the Bible. Sa'aq is the expression of pain, the ouch, the sound we utter when we are wounded.
But sa'aq is also a question, a question that arises out of the pain of the wound. Where is justice? Did anybody see that? Who will come to my rescue? Did anybody hear that? Or am I alone here?
Sa'aq is what Abel's blood does from the ground after he's killed by his brother.
The Israelites are oppressed, they're in misery, they're suffering- and when they cry out, God hears.
This is a God who always hears the cry.
This is central to who God is: God always hears the cry of the oppressed."
Do you know what God does when He hears the cry, when He hears the sa'aq? God becomes our freedom fighter. God becomes our liberator, our sole(or soul) representative. God has been in the freedom business since the start of life, so needless to say, He is pretty good at it.
Our God is one of deliverance.
Abel: Murdered by his brother Cain in anger. Genesis 4:
10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth."
Moses: God appointed leader of oppressed Hebrews. The oppressed nation was allowed to leave egypt after God willed it. Exodus 14:
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
God- W oppressors- L
Oh God, where are you now?
Our great oppressor isn't a single issue, a series of events, a handicap or inability. Our great oppressor isn't a government, a person, a deadline, or a boss. Our great oppressor isn't a generation, a family, or a label.
No, our great oppressor is way worse than that.
Our great oppressor is Sin, and we are all in bondage.
And God always hears the cries of the oppressed.
Our God is one of deliverance.
Sin has a firm hold on us and we can't shake it loose. No matter how hard we try, there is nothing that can be done about it. We are dying because of it, and there is nothing we can do on our own to stop it. Sounds pretty oppressed, huh? Well God hears the cry and gives us deliverance. This time, our deliverance comes not by way of force or anger or plague. It comes by love.
I read in my first bible years ago, out of the New Living Translation, that the Jews were waiting for a savior. They were doing everyday things with the hope that he may pop up and save them from slavery. In that day, the great oppressors of God's people were the roman occupiers of the Holy Land. This wasn't a new concept to the Jewish people. First Egypt, now the entire known world. So again the Jews were waiting. They felt oppressed. They felt like they were being held captive. But they had it all wrong.
The Jews were enslaved but not by the Romans. Not by the Egyptians either. They were enslaved by sin. See, Jesus saw that we were being oppressed and He heard our cries. But He, knowing that equality with God wasn't something we could grasp, made Himself less, and died a criminals death on a cross, thus freeing us from being slaves. Not freeing us from being slaves to Romans or Egyptians. He freed us from being slaves to sin.
The Jews missed it because they expected the Messiah to come down on clouds riding a horse with a sword in His hand. They focused on the wrong oppressor. The greatest oppressor of all time, is sin.
Wherever you are. Whatever you've done. God is available. He will free you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Was there a day where the earth stood still? I'm not asking if the events of the movie "The Day The Earth Stood Still" happened. Well, not entirely. In that movie, an alien spacecraft shows up and something comes out of it and the earth...stood still, pretty much to watch. But I wonder if we can look to historical events and find when the people of the earth stood still. I can think of a few in my lifetime. Maybe when power rangers made its debut on fox after school, or when the new goosebumps book came out...but seriously
What day did the Earth stand still? For you? For your family? For the world?
(leave your replies)
What day did the Earth stand still? For you? For your family? For the world?
(leave your replies)
Friday, February 6, 2009
Recovery
There have been many times in my life in which I have been hurt and went through some sort of a recovery period. This one is no different. Lets list the events of today shall we:
2:36 AM- wake up due to uncomfortableness. I hear the dryer still running and i get a little disturbed at Ryan because the dryer has been running most of the day. But then I get over that. I go to the potty then back to bed.
9:16 AM- wake up again to take more pain meds. This time I am up for good so I call my woman.
Eric- I Love You
Jess- I Love You Too
10:10 AM- Attempt at a shower, pain
10:30 AM- escape from the shower with minimal damage.
11:45 AM- will be at a doctors office getting a pro's opinion...surgery?
But all in all, I am quite alright. I'm not saying that this doesn't stink. I'm just saying that this being the 5th dislocation, I am more prepared and experienced in what to expect. I'm fine. Really. Plus, I have a lot of work to do over the next couple weeks so I can't slow down.
But back to recovery. I assume that if I don't get the procedure done, I will be in this sling for the next month or so, and I'm okay with that. I really enjoy when people see a man in a sling and somehow it slips their minds that they should NOT touch the arm.
But back to actual recovery. I know that God is working in me in this healing process. I am 100 % sure of that. But what does the world think about God and his role in healing? Last night we talked about the origin and nature of Sin. And after that small group, I spent another 2 hours talking about it with Jess too. Does God want to heal us? I think yes. I'd think that after so many years of us sinning against Him, all we would see of Him is his footprints walking away. But that's not the case. God still loves us regardless of what we've done, who we've hurt, and what we've said about Him. Its absolutely remarkable and unthinkable. We have done nothing but sin against this God our entire lives, yet He still loves us. Imagine your closest friend yelling at you daily, stealing your most valued possessions and flaunting them in your face, even telling others that they hate you and worse, tells everyone that they don't even know you, denies that you exist. This is what our God receives from His people on a daily basis. Yet He still loves us.
My recovery is going to take some time. It will include a sling, lots and lots of rest, medicine regularly, and maybe even surgery, and even then my shoulder will never be fully recovered due to the amount of times this has happened already. I will live the rest of my days with 2 shoulders that will nag me with pain and will be a source of discomfort. Each time i turn the wrong way and my face grimaces, I will be reminded of my imperfectness and my inability to be new, to be without pain. However, way more important than my shoulders healing is the problem with my soul.
My sin has been my source of pain, my discomfort. Sin has been my constant reminder of my imperfectness. Sin leaves me crippled. It is way worse than a bad set of shoulders. It is eternal. My recovery has nothing to do with a doctor's appointment, medicine, or surgery. My recovery is solely dependent on God. See, my sin took my relationship with God and split us up. And the only thing to bring us back together, to recover this relationship, is a sacrifice. In the same way, Adam and Eve felt ashamed of their nakedness and God sacrificed an animal in order to clothe them (Genesis 3:21) as they were being separated from God. The sin separated them from God, but God still made a sacrifice to show that He never stopped loving them. For me, I missed the mark of God and have fallen short of Him and that separated me from God. But He made another sacrifice for me. He sent Jesus, His Son, to be that sacrifice, to not only let me know that He will never stop loving me, but so that if I accept that sacrifice for me, I will be able to once again walk with Him in the cool of the day, that I will be made new in Him. That I will be fully recovered.
2:36 AM- wake up due to uncomfortableness. I hear the dryer still running and i get a little disturbed at Ryan because the dryer has been running most of the day. But then I get over that. I go to the potty then back to bed.
9:16 AM- wake up again to take more pain meds. This time I am up for good so I call my woman.
Eric- I Love You
Jess- I Love You Too
10:10 AM- Attempt at a shower, pain
10:30 AM- escape from the shower with minimal damage.
11:45 AM- will be at a doctors office getting a pro's opinion...surgery?
But all in all, I am quite alright. I'm not saying that this doesn't stink. I'm just saying that this being the 5th dislocation, I am more prepared and experienced in what to expect. I'm fine. Really. Plus, I have a lot of work to do over the next couple weeks so I can't slow down.
But back to recovery. I assume that if I don't get the procedure done, I will be in this sling for the next month or so, and I'm okay with that. I really enjoy when people see a man in a sling and somehow it slips their minds that they should NOT touch the arm.
But back to actual recovery. I know that God is working in me in this healing process. I am 100 % sure of that. But what does the world think about God and his role in healing? Last night we talked about the origin and nature of Sin. And after that small group, I spent another 2 hours talking about it with Jess too. Does God want to heal us? I think yes. I'd think that after so many years of us sinning against Him, all we would see of Him is his footprints walking away. But that's not the case. God still loves us regardless of what we've done, who we've hurt, and what we've said about Him. Its absolutely remarkable and unthinkable. We have done nothing but sin against this God our entire lives, yet He still loves us. Imagine your closest friend yelling at you daily, stealing your most valued possessions and flaunting them in your face, even telling others that they hate you and worse, tells everyone that they don't even know you, denies that you exist. This is what our God receives from His people on a daily basis. Yet He still loves us.
My recovery is going to take some time. It will include a sling, lots and lots of rest, medicine regularly, and maybe even surgery, and even then my shoulder will never be fully recovered due to the amount of times this has happened already. I will live the rest of my days with 2 shoulders that will nag me with pain and will be a source of discomfort. Each time i turn the wrong way and my face grimaces, I will be reminded of my imperfectness and my inability to be new, to be without pain. However, way more important than my shoulders healing is the problem with my soul.
My sin has been my source of pain, my discomfort. Sin has been my constant reminder of my imperfectness. Sin leaves me crippled. It is way worse than a bad set of shoulders. It is eternal. My recovery has nothing to do with a doctor's appointment, medicine, or surgery. My recovery is solely dependent on God. See, my sin took my relationship with God and split us up. And the only thing to bring us back together, to recover this relationship, is a sacrifice. In the same way, Adam and Eve felt ashamed of their nakedness and God sacrificed an animal in order to clothe them (Genesis 3:21) as they were being separated from God. The sin separated them from God, but God still made a sacrifice to show that He never stopped loving them. For me, I missed the mark of God and have fallen short of Him and that separated me from God. But He made another sacrifice for me. He sent Jesus, His Son, to be that sacrifice, to not only let me know that He will never stop loving me, but so that if I accept that sacrifice for me, I will be able to once again walk with Him in the cool of the day, that I will be made new in Him. That I will be fully recovered.
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